This evening I did an open-water swim clinic with my triathlon coach and a couple of the other people he coaches. Since my swim in the triathlon last weekend was my very first open-water swim with a wetsuit, I thought some practice was in order. As I look back on this evening’s little workout, the most positive thing I can say is that it was a learning experience. Not only did I lose one of my ear plugs early on, which caused me to be horribly dizzy and nauseous for the rest of the swim, but I was also by far the slowest swimmer. I’m not sure why it bothered me so much tonight, but it did. Maybe it’s because I was feeling so proud of myself. I guess I was getting a little cocky, so when I saw how slow I really am, it was more of a blow than it otherwise would have been. By the time I got out of the water, I was seriously rethinking my intention to do that half-ironman in August. Wow! It’s amazing how low a little pride can eventually bring you. It’s hard sometimes to balance confidence and humility. How far do I let my excitement about my accomplishments and my confidence in myself take me before it becomes pride and starts to hurt me? On the positive side, I was reminded tonight that I can’t afford to get lazy. Less than 2 months to go, but a lot can change in 2 months.

On another positive note, J gets home tomorrow night. Hooray!


8 thoughts on “Feeling a Little Deflated

  1. Denise,
    I know you don’t know me but I have coached a few people through triathalon or similar event, competitions. Firstly, you not only have every right to be proud of yourself for competing in these ironperson events, but you need that to get you through the next training session.

    You are amazing! Remeber that the “competition” means competing with yourself because nobody else does all that you do, as good as you do it. You are truely unique so the only person that can fairly compete against you is you! Most of us haven’t even come close to your achievements and still can’t even swim across the pool once without several breaks, so you forget that we are finishing way behind you. You can’t finish last because 99.9999% of the people can’t even make it to the pool.

    I should mention something I would inform clients wanting to train for these events; they probably need psychological help. Most of them accept this and go on day after day, working toward a goal that will surely take their breath away. Oh well, just hearing about you takes my breath away.

    Keep going, and always be proud of what you are doing! I know that I sure am proud of you!

  2. D, I totally agree with Lance. You are accomplishing so much more than so many just by getting in the pool. You have every right to feel proud of yourself! And if it helps, know that there are hundreds of people who are proud of you as well.

    Congrats on what you’ve accomplished so far! And good luck in all your future endeavorers!

  3. As you know, I’m not even close to being a triathlete so I don’t know what an open water swim even is! Swimming in open water?? You already know I’m so impressed by your accomplishments. And I am one of the 99.999% Lance mentioned that doesn’t even make it to the water. Be PROUD of yourself!!!! Because I am!

  4. This is all hard for me to even imgagine… I think it’s awesome what you are doing this but I can’t help but have flash backs of two very pathetic sorelle in Italy trying to run just up and down the street in front of our apartment in Bolzano! I just hope you don’t go overboard with this. Keep your life balanced and your priorities in order. YOu’ll be great at whatever you do because your just that way.

  5. Denny, you’re amazing! You have always been amazing! You will always be amazing! I hope that doing these things for yourself actually makes you realize that this has always been true and that it has nothing to do with winning any race first or very last. This has been my opinion of you from the first night you were home from your mission and we stayed up all night trying to become plumbers. You are my hero! I’ll never change how I feel, as long as you take one of my stinkin kittens off my hands!

  6. You’re amazing Denise! I had no idea you were doing a half iron man. Wow! One of my really good friends did one of these races and was very discouraged by her open water swim (as swimming was her best event), but she said it motivated her to better her time the next time around and that’s exactly what she did. You go, girl!

  7. Forget it, Liz! You knew what they were when you picked them up. Okay, maybe you didn’t know Stripes was a girl, but I still don’t want one of your stinkin’ kittens.

  8. Thanks, Lance, and everyone else for the reminder of how far I’ve come. I need to remember to be grateful for what I’ve managed to accomplish rather than feel disappointment when I fall short.

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